Memoir

Memoir

Introduction

            Let me preface this memoir by saying that I am beginning to write this after my graduation/goodbye party. Friends from all different areas of my college career came to say goodbye, have a few last laughs, and hug me one last time before I leave for Austin in the spring. I think that this is the perfect time to begin writing this. I am a generally reflective person, but sometimes I need to be in the mood for it. Right now, after this party, I am feeling particularly grateful for all that I have experienced here at Baylor, and feel like I have tons to write about.

            I have been wondering how I would format this memoir; fifteen to twenty pages is a lot and I did not want it to be completely disorganized. The other day, my friend recommended a NPR book to me that contains essays written by people about their beliefs. The only requirement was that they write about life in 250 words or less. This gave me the idea to write this memoir in that format. I have broken up what Dr. Schultz wants us to write into sections, each of which I will try to write about in 250 words. Obviously, some of the sections will run over their limits, and I have added a few sections of my own. I hope that whoever ends up reading this enjoys it!

A Short Biography

            To start at the beginning, I was born in Germany on February 22, 1991. My family was stationed in Germany with the U.S. Air Force. My brother, Jake, was two years old when I came along. When I was 6 weeks old, my family moved to Arizona. To answer your inevitable questions, I do not speak German and I am not a German citizen. After that, we moved about every two years until I was 12. I lived in Arizona, Ohio, Texas, Oklahoma and then back to Ohio until college. I went to 10 different schools before I graduated high school. I lived in 6 different houses.

            Such is life as an Air Force Brat. My world was constantly changing. When I was 10, the September 11th attacks happened. When I was 11, my dad went to Qatar for seven months. When I was 13, my dad went back to Qatar for 4 months. Each of those events was pivotal in my life. If you have never experienced a family member going to war, it is an incomprehensible situation. Not to say that my life has been terrible, but it is definitely a defining part of my life. Two of my best friends in college are both military brats. Being a military kid is like being from a different world. Coming to college showed me that more than I had realized before. My life growing up was different from a kid who grew up in the same house, in the same city for their entire childhood. I could probably write 15-20 pages on what it is like to grow up as an Air Force Kid, but I will leave it at this: it is an important part of my story that affects much of how my college experience has been.

           

Why I Chose the BIC

            When I applied to Baylor, I did not expect to go. I was planning on going to A&M (boo), because I had a friend that went there and loved it. I applied to Baylor because I have had several family members attend Baylor. When I came to Texas to visit A&M, I visited Baylor also. I loved it. Baylor was a Christian school, had a beautiful campus and I heard the academics were top notch. I had wanted to attend a Christian university, but did not want to deal with all the rules and dress code restrictions that I had heard some schools had. When I asked our campus tour guide if I would have to remove my piercings (I have 11), and she said no, I was sold.

            I didn’t hear about the Baylor Interdisciplinary Core until I came to orientation with my cousin, Shayla. Shayla graduated from Baylor, but did not do the BIC when she was here. When I heard about the BIC, I immediately wanted to know more. Instead of going to a normal advising session, I was sent to see Dr. Nogalski. She told me that I would love the BIC. She explained the emphasis on culture and history, and told me that the BIC would be a challenge. I knew that I didn’t want college to be easy. I wanted to be challenged, pushed, forced to think and study hard. I love culture and I love history. The BIC seemed like a perfect fit for me. I signed up right then. Dr. Nogalski asked me some of my key interests and signed me up with professors she thought that I would enjoy taking. She was right. I loved my professors first semester freshman year.

Why I Chose to Stay in the BIC

            To be completely honest, I did not want to stay in the BIC after my freshman year. I was tired of how hard the classes were and I really wanted to just have normal classes with normal kids. I felt like I was missing out on having the typical freshman classes with everyone else. I wanted to be taking Heritage and Scriptures with all of the other freshmen. I wasn’t sure why we had to take Rhetoric instead of English classes. Honestly, as I will write about later, freshman year was just really hard.

            At the end of freshman year, I went to see Dr. Nogalski to tell her I wanted to drop the BIC. She said that I needed to think about it and then come back to talk to her. I went back to my dorm, talked to my parents and then decided to ask my CL about it also. My freshman CL, Antonia Terrazas, was also a member of the BIC. When I asked her about it, she told me that I couldn’t quit. She was in her sophomore year, which is notoriously difficult in BIC, but she said that it would be worth it. I thought about it for a few days, and decided that I could drop after first semester sophomore year if I still didn’t want to be in it.

            As a senior, looking back I am thankful that I stayed in the BIC. I got my Heritage and Scriptures classes as a junior in Biblical Heritage. I took a social work class junior year in which we had to do debates in front of the class. Everyone in that class was so nervous and stressed about getting up and speaking in front of everyone. Because of speeches in rhetoric, and the discussion-oriented classes of the BIC, I was not afraid to speak in front of my peers. I was confident knowing that I could present myself articulately. Those are just a few things that made my decision to stay in the BIC worth it. More to come later...

The College Years

            In this next section, I want to give a brief summary of each year of college. I want to highlight a few key moments, maybe mention a few things I learned each year. Some of these will have to do with the BIC, but most will be general summaries.

Freshman Year

            Freshman year was a tough one for me. I came to Baylor not knowing a single person. My family was still living in Ohio at the time, and I missed them more than I could say. Not to tell a sob story (pun intended), but I can remember crying myself to sleep at least three nights a week every week first semester. My roommate and I did not get along. She was a sophomore, pre-med major and she spent every minute outside of class in our dorm room. This resulted in practically zero along time for me, which was extremely difficult. I am almost 50/50 extrovert and introvert, so no alone time made being far from home even harder.

            The saving graces of my living situation were the girls on my hall, my CL and the staff of North Russell. My hall directory, Lisa Murphy, is still to this day one of my favorite women I’ve met in my time at Baylor. My CL, Antonia, and the other CLs of NoRo, were the fun, supportive older sisters I never had growing up with just a brother. The girls on my hall were my TV watching buddies, the ones I laughed with and the ones who fed me tons of cookies, Oreo balls and brownies.

            The hardest part of freshman year was that I didn’t get involved at a church. I felt lost and like I was still trying to figure out exactly what I believed, but with no one to guide me. I didn’t like any of the churches I had been to and I didn’t have a car to try any on my own. It wasn’t until April of my freshman year that I found a church that I felt like I belonged. Moving into sophomore year, church becomes a big part of my journey here at Baylor.

Sophomore Year

            At the beginning of my sophomore year I made the decision to throw myself into church life group. I wanted to fit here at Baylor and life group was the first place that I felt I belonged. The friends I met were teaching me how to follow Jesus. They showed me that following Jesus was a joy and a lifestyle. I fully understood the gospel for the first time in my life. I had grown up in the church, but had never really known that I could have a relationship with Jesus. This idea, this simple fact, radically changed my life. It was an idea that changed the way that I lived after my sophomore year.

            Another defining aspect of sophomore year was finding really good friends. The friendships that I consider my best of college were all started my sophomore year. Everyone imagines in college that they will make lifelong friends. I did not know then that the friendships that I was making would be some of those lifelong friends. I met friends that I connected with on a deeper level; we had conversations about life, faith, doubts, not just boys, movies and superficiality. I think that sophomore year marked a real transition period from teenage years into young adulthood. I left behind high school years and friendships. I fully accepted the fact that I would be here in Waco for the next few years and that I wanted to make the most of them.

Junior Year

            Junior year was one of refining my beliefs even more. I found myself face to face with so many questions - questions I didn’t know the answer to, but I was going to find out. I didn’t want to blindly believe everything I was told. I wanted to make my own decisions, choose my own truths and find my own path. I saw so many around me following the crowds, and honestly, that’s just never been my style. It was a difficult journey, one that I’m obviously still on. I’m so thankful that I have friends that have been with me while I talk about controversial topics and work through what I think about that. My friends have stuck with me and loved me through everything.

            One particular experience junior year was instrumental in my journey of asking questions and learning more about myself. Over the summer after my junior year, I went to Comstock, Texas, about 30 minutes west of Del Rio, for a field school for Anthropology. Each Anthropology major is required to have 6 hours of field experience. I chose to do mine at an organization called Shumla School. Shumla, and the people who work there, study the rock art left behind by Indians on the walls of rock shelters nearly 4000 years ago. Not only did I learn a lot about these people and the art they created, but I learned so much about myself as well.

            Field school was a place where no one knew me. Fallon was the only friend that I had going into the school and I really didn’t expect to become good friends with anyone that we met there. With not knowing anyone comes the freedom of being unknown, the freedom to be anything you want to be. After a year of trying to reject the mold, this was insanely refreshing. I was able to be 100% Cameron. For one month, no one expected anything from me. I was able to let down my guard and be who I wanted to be. Also, Comstock is in the middle of nowhere and we had no cell reception, and limited Internet access. This lack of connection to the outside world plus amazing starry nights lent itself to reflection. I had a lot of time to think and talk with God about the many questions that I have.

Senior Year

            My senior year has been the best year yet! I didn’t know that I was graduating in December until April of my junior year, so I’ve had all of my senior experiences in one semester. My classes this semester have been some of my best ever at Baylor. I will reflect on Yoga specifically later, but my other classes have been great, too. I audited Dr. Hanks’ Children’s Literature class and have learned so much. He is truly an incredible professor. He believes in his students. During his goodbye party from the BIC, one girl said it beautifully. She said that Dr. Hanks “knows that there is genius in everyone, just under the surface, waiting to be found.” I loved that. It is an honor to have him as a professor. I have also been doing an internship this semester with the Texas Hunger Initiative, where I will be working after I graduate. I have learned so much and have loved every minute of it. As this semester comes to a close, I feel the sadness that comes with the end of one chapter of life, but also the excitement knowing that a new chapter is beginning.

What I gained from my BIC experience

Friends

            Several of my closest friends in college have come from the BIC. I knew coming in that finding friends would be hard, but I was hoping that classes would help. The BIC is great at facilitating friendships because you have all of your core classes with the same group of students. You get to know new people in every small group, but with the small overall size of the BIC, you get to know almost everyone in your class. First semester of freshman year, I met two of my closest friends - Hannah Rushing and Fallon Fausch. Hannah and I met in World Cultures and realized that we lived down the hall from each other in NoRo. We became fast friends, hanging out almost every weekend that we were both in town. Fallon and I met in Examined Life. We didn’t even realize that we were going to be as good of friends as we have become.

            Along with those two close friends, I have made many other friendships in the BIC. I see people around campus still that I haven't been friends with or had a class with since freshman or sophomore year, but we wave and say hello. There is a certain camaraderie that comes with being in the BIC. Some of that is from a feeling of mutual “suffering” through the tough classes, but also from the content of the courses. We connect on a deeper level through our conversations than you would in normal classes.

Faith

            I will be the first to say that BIC is not the easiest program to be a Christian in. Now, that is not saying that professors encourage you not to believe in Jesus. What I mean by that is that the BIC challenges every belief you have and if you are not strong enough or not willing to journey to the hard places you can lose your faith. I, fortunately, had the exact opposite experience. With every new religion we studied, I learned what I could about it and then examined how that fit with what I believe as a Christian or how it doesn’t. I was reminded of this process when Christina Sell spoke in our Yoga class on the last. She said we should all go through the process of learning what other people believe, deciding if we want to believe that also, and then put it into practice if we do, or toss it if we do not. I think that this is a great practice to have. I know of a few fellow BICers that came out on the bad side of studying world religions. They were either unable to connect what they were learning with what they believed, or they were unable to accept that others believe differently than themselves. I know that my upbringing as an Air Force brat keeps me strong in what I believe. My parents have always taught me not to compromise what I believe for anything. But, they have also taught me to think for myself. I think the combination of my upbringing and the environment of BIC being one where learning and questioning is encouraged helped my faith grow during college.

Education

            The purpose of the BIC is to create well-rounded individuals that are educated and prepared to be citizens in the world. I feel like that has been accomplished in me. Not to sound conceited, but I definitely feel much more well rounded that when I came into college. As for as education goes, I will never regret the education that I got in the BIC. I can remember freshmen year having conversations with my colleagues outside of class that I never thought I would ever have. One particular instance was when a few of us went to see a movie freshmen year and had a very deep conversation about it afterwards. We didn’t just leave the movie having enjoyed it, but we chose to look for deeper meaning. This is something that the BIC has taught me to do.

            Another part of my BIC education that I find so invaluable is the literature that we read. When my parents hear me list the books and stories that I have read in the BIC, they are extremely impressed. I know that I have such a wealth of knowledge about literature from all time periods and areas of the world. I loved that every culture we studied was supported with either a creation text or an important story to the culture. Even though I did not always appreciate the stories as I read them, I am better educated because of the literature I have read in the BIC.

Favorite Courses

Biblical Heritage

            My favorite purely academic BIC class (I consider Yoga a class with practice and academics) was Biblical Heritage. One of the things I was sad about by staying in the BIC was losing out on taking the freshman classes of Scriptures and Heritage. I wanted to be challenged by learning more about the Bible and learn about the history of my faith. I had the honor of being taught by Dr. Paul Carron and Dr. Josh Stigall. Dr. Carron had taught me in large group but never in small group. I so enjoyed being taught by him. He is an incredible professor. He treats his students with so much respect, facilitates great discussions and really challenges his students to think. Dr. Stigall is a New Testament scholar at Truett and really knows his stuff. He had a way of explaining the material we were reading as if it was happening in modern times. I loved when he taught.

            That class challenged so much of my beliefs. The class focuses a lot on ethics and controversial issues in society. One of my favorite aspects of the BIC is the discussions that we are able to have in the classroom. In Biblical Heritage, we discussed poverty, homosexuality, the inerrancy of scripture, gender roles and war. I learned that I could face the hard issues and ask difficult questions and still hold my faith. I learned the true definition of faith. That class was just such a university class, in my opinion. I came to college wanting to be challenged and this class definitely delivered.

World Cultures

            The idea of World Cultures class is what made me want to join the BIC when I first heard of them. I love history, religion and culture. Social Studies were always my favorite classes in high school. I am an Anthropology major. All of those things add up to World Cultures being some of my favorite classes I have taken at Baylor. Freshman year classes were particularly enjoyable for me. I loved learning about different religions and what they believed. I love that the BIC takes us on field trips to visit other religions holy places of worship. One of my favorite experiences of college was the World Cultures II field trip to the mosque in Dallas. Visiting those places of worship was never something I would have done on my own, and the BIC provided that opportunity for me.

            My second favorite World Cultures class was second semester of sophomore year, World Cultures III. This class was focused on the modern world, moving through topics such as the enlightenment and the romantic period. I had Dr. Lenore Wright for this class and she was one of my favorite professors at Baylor. This was one of those classes where we all sat in a circle of desks and had discussions that entire time. I greatly enjoyed the material we read for this class, but I think a lot of that was because of the discussions we had. I knew that I wanted to make sure I always read for class, because I didn’t want to miss out on what the class would discuss that day.

How the BIC Influenced my Chosen Course of Study

            I think that it is pretty apparent that BIC and Anthropology go hand-in-hand really well. Both are people, culture and history focused. However, my choice to be an Anthropology major was influenced by someone that I met within the BIC - Fallon Fausch. I came in to Baylor as an International Studies major, wanting to be a missionary and change the world. In Examined Life I, I met Fallon. We connected over the fact that we both wanted to be missionaries and she told me that she was an Anthropology major. I had never heard of that discipline before. When Fallon explained it, I knew that it was perfect for me. The BIC connected well with my chosen course of study, but really it was a friend that I made in the BIC that influenced my decision the most.

How this course draws together other aspects of my BIC and college experience

            Yoga has really been such a great capstone for my BIC experience and my college experience. One simple, but fun part about the class has been the people. Almost all of the girls (and Nolan :)) in the class have been in one or two of my classes before, but I’ve never really been great friends with them. This class was such a good mix of people that have been in each of my classes.

            Another part of this class that I loved is that we were challenged with another religion. I was able to use the skills that I had learned in my first few years of BIC classes to study the Yoga Philosophy. If my mind had not been so opened to the world around me in earlier BIC classes, it could have been hard to study the yoga tradition so intimately.

What I gained from Yoga course generally

            As I said when I read Christina Sell’s memoir, I am so glad that we were required to keep a practice journal while doing yoga this semester. Looking back, I can see that yoga influenced me this semester more than I realized even while doing it. Now that I haven’t done yoga for a few weeks (I know...shameful) I can see the impact that yoga had on my body. I felt better physically this semester more than I have in years. As I told you guys at the beginning of this semester, I injured my back my junior year of high school and it has hurt me ever since. Usually, all of the sitting and carrying a heavy backpack that I have to do during the semester irritates my back even more than usual. I can honestly say that my back has not irritated me barely at all this semester. I did not feel held back by my back injury this semester.

           

What is Next and How the BIC prepared me for it

            In just four days time I will be a graduate from Baylor University with a B.A. in Anthropology and a minor in Poverty Studies. When I walk across that stage, I will have the Baylor Interdisciplinary Core cord hanging around my neck and I couldn’t be more proud. In February, I will move to Austin, TX and begin a new career, new friendships and a whole new life. I will be working for the Texas Hunger Initiative as an AmeriCorps VISTA (Volunteer in service to America). As a VISTA, I will be a Food Planning Association Coordinator. Practically, this means that I will be working to organize meetings with anyone in the Austin community that is fighting hunger. We want to get everyone together in one room, fighting against hunger and food insecurity in their communities. I know that my time in the BIC has greatly prepared me for success in this next chapter of my life.

            The BIC has made me a lifelong learner. The program has equipped me with skills to continue reading, learning and studying on my own. I understand the importance of education and have developed a love for formal education within the BIC. My time in BIC has created in me a desire to constantly know more. My professors have exposed me to so many different disciplines and showed me that learning doesn’t end when you leave the classroom. I am looking forward to free time next year so I can read and learn on my own. I’m thankful for my time in the BIC because it has prepared me for that.

            As I mentioned before, the discussion format of the BIC has prepared me for speaking in classes, but also for networking that I will have to do with my future job. I will be spending most of my days making phone calls, meeting people and sending emails. I will have to coordinate and host meetings of prominent businessmen and women in the community. I will need confidence in speaking and presenting myself in a group that most people have 10 plus years of experience. I feel confident going into that. The BIC has taught me that I am a well-educated, well-spoken individual and that my voice matters. I know that I will be able to conduct myself around all types of people with sureness and maturity. I do not worry about knowing how to speak with people that are older or more experienced than me because our professors have always treated us like colleagues and equals.

Suggestions for Improvement

            As for yoga, I cannot think of much that I would change about it. I loved that we did practice every day. I am thankful that we did practice blogs. The reading blogs were good for accountability in doing the reading. Each reading assignment we had contributed to my understanding of yoga or yoga philosophy. Dr. Schultz is an incredible yoga teacher. She respects her students and makes them feel beautiful. She moves slow enough that everyone can participate, but not too slow that we get bored. I’m so happy that we got to try advanced poses even if we couldn’t get close to doing them. This class provides great overall exposure to the poses of yoga. I think that maybe if all of the poses were written on the board before class it would be easier to know what their names were. Also, if there was extra emphasis on the names in English so that we can translate our yoga practice to studios that are not specifically Iyengar Yoga. If Christina Sell could come back again next time the class is taught, that would be great. She was a fun way to close the semester. Overall, this class was the best experience that I have had in the BIC. I learned so much about my physical body and my inner self. I feel prepared to go practice yoga and to continue learning after I leave Baylor.

            As for improvements to the overall BIC program, I really only have one suggestion. I wish that during freshman year when we were studying all of the world religions that we had taken a field trip to a Christian church. I know several classmates that had never been to a church before. I gained so much from going to the places of worship of different religions that I think it would be beneficial to assign that as well. If it was assigned, it could be to go to a different type of church than you’ve ever been to. I would have loved to try an Orthodox church or a Catholic church, as I have never been to either of those. Honestly, that is my only suggestion for the BIC program. Except, keep Yoga and Philosophy around! And get more props and a yoga studio! That is all. Thanks for such a wonderful experience in college. I enjoyed it more than even 5,000 words can say. :)