Waking post 2

Part two of Waking by Matthew Sanford chronicles the journey from going home for the first time after the accident all the way to the end of his marriage with his first wife after college. This section is raw and personal. Sanford holds little back in telling his story. He allows us readers into his innermost thoughts and feelings of his adolescent body and mind. While reading, I felt his pain. I experienced with him the fear of becoming a quadriplegic. I felt his apathy when he layed once again in a hospital bed, waiting for feeling to return to his upper body. Once again, his writing drew me in, taking me on his journey with him.
Personal connect with this section if the book was different than the last. The last time, I felt lik ei had connections with very specific parts of his story. This time, I felt more of connection with the lost feeling he had during the years following his accident and rehabilitation. He had questions, but not enough, he said. He didn't know what he was supposed to be asking. One of the biggest questions that he was faced with was about healing.  What even is healing? How does it happen? Through what medium does it come? Is it all physical? Where does one even start to be healed emotionally from past events? Is that possible? Does anyone know? These are the questions I heard asked between the lines of Sanford's story. And, those are the same questions I find myself asking in my own life, especially recently. With my back, how do I fully get physically healed? What else do I need? I won't go too personal, because this will be on the internet, but I find myself searching the same way Sanford does.
As for yoga philosophy, this section is defined by its lack of any personal philosophy. Sanford elevates himself as a leader in his remaining middle school and high school years. Then in college, he keeps himself busy, counts himself as a ladies man, and is content with that until one day, reality of his situation hits. After this moment, he changes his major and begins to search. He doesn't know what his personal philosophy is. He doesn't know where he stands on life after death, on pleasure or pain. He begins his journey of healing; restoring life to his dead existence. In that same way, I find myself closing this chapter of college and starting a new phase of life soon. As I am looking back, I find myself seeing all of the stages I went through, all of the personalities, all of the beliefs, all of the passions. And, I look to right now, what do I choose to believe right now; where do I stand? I am anxious to see how Sanford tackles these questions in the next section of the book.
Lastly, I want to leave you with a quote from this section that I think will lead nicely into the last part of the book:
"Often I am asked what led me to eventually practice yoga. The answer is moments like this...These are the moments when somehow 'more' is catalyzed, more is felt and revealed. In believe that it is the silence that makes this possible. The silence that I carried within me brought into relief these otherwise ordinary moments. I believe that the silence can deepen our perception and holds a key to our consciousness." (92)

Memoir reflection 1

For my first memoir reading, I have chosen Waking by Matthew Sanford. For those of you who are also reading it, forgive me as I give a quick summary. When Matthew was 13, he was in a car accident that killed both his father and his sister, and left him paralyzed from the chest down. The book is divided into three parts, the first of which chronicled his recovery in the hospital during the months following the accident. While reading, I made many connections, personally and to the philosophy we have been discussing in class. Along with how the book is written, I want to talk about those connections. 

First, I want to say a quick word about Sanford’s writing style. For a grown man describing events from his pre-teen years, he does so with surprising accuracy. Now, I am not saying that I do not trust his recollections. Instead, it proves that traumatic events and the days that follow them are forever imprinted in our minds. The words that Sanford uses to describe his feelings and thoughts throughout those times are beautiful. One of my favorite sentences was when he was talking about getting put into a second body cast, a moment he dreaded because of the burning pain that came with the last procedure. On page 55, he describes the pain, the second time around: “my back smolders but never completely catches fire.” Beautiful.

Second, I wanted to mention a personal connection that I had with a story in Sanford’s journey to recovery. In one chapter, he talks about visions that his mother would have about death and other weird instances that in the face of tragedy, seem like strange coincidences. One in particular that stood out to me was a story about his Aunt Kathy who miraculously had a baby when she was forty-one years old. She named this child Laura Kathleen, after Sanford’s older sister. The baby was born seven months before the crash when Sanford’s sister died. The second Laura Kathleen also died at a young age--twenty-three. I know of a very similar story. When I was a junior in high school, a friend from church named Rebecca died in a car accident at the age of 17. She was named after her Mom’s sister Rebecca, who had also died at the age of 17 in a car accident. I’m honestly still working through how I feel about things like that. By no means do I fear naming a child after a dead relative, but it is an eerie thing to hear of twice. 

Lastly, for this reflection, I want to discuss the yoga philosophy Sanford briefly referenced in this section. On several occasions, he recounts different experiences that left an “imprint” on him for later life. This idea of imprints reminded me of the “seeds” that Friday and the Captain discuss in How Yoga Works. Sanford tells of his time in the confinement of the body cast and how “years later, a calming compression is what [he] experience[s] when [he] practice[s] yoga” (50). The closeness of the body cast left an imprint on him for later in life. 

Eight fold path

2.32 The fixed observances are cleanliness, contentment, austerity, study and persevering devotion to God.
2.33 When improper thoughts disturb the mind, there should be constant pondering over the opposites.
2.34 Improper thoughts and emotions such as those of violence- whether done, caused to be done, or even approved of- indeed, any thought originating in desire, anger or delusion, whether mild medium or intense- do all result in endless pain and misery. Overcome such distractions by pondering on the opposites.
2.35 When one is confirmed in non-violence, hostility ceases in his presence.
2.36 When one is firmly established in speaking truth, the fruits of action become subservient to him.
2.37 All jewels approach him who is confirmed in honesty.
2.38 When one is confirmed in celibacy, spiritual vigor is gained.
2.39 When one is confirmed in non-possessiveness, the knowledge of the why and how of existence is attained.
2.40 From purity follows a withdrawal from enchantment over one's own body as well as a cessation of desire for physical contact with others.
2.41 As a result of contentment there is purity of mind, one-pointedness, control of the senses, and fitness for the vision of the self.
2.42 Supreme happiness is gained via contentment.
2.43 Through sanctification and the removal of impurities, there arise special powers in the body and senses.
2.44 By study comes communion with the Lord in the Form most admired.
2.45 Realization is experienced by making the Lord the motive of all actions.

I particularly liked the fixed observances leg of the path to purity. This section was one that I had to read through, go back and read it slowly and then imagine it as a "this leads to this, which leads to this" method in my head. I almost made a diagram, but couldn't figure it out in Word. I think I like that it shows that the quest for purity is a process. Not only is it an Eight Fold Path, but just under this section, there are many different elements. It is encouraging to have the path broken down even more. Instead of just knowing that I'm supposed to have fixed observances, I know practical steps of how to master this leg of the path. It also presents the benefits of mastering this part of the path: "All jewels approach him who is confirmed in honesty." If that doesn't make you want to follow the path of yoga, what will.

This whole section made me think of the Christian tradition, also. We are told to learn to control our thoughts. Christians are urged to dwell on things that are good, holy, pure, and righteous. And, we are also promised jewels; perhaps in a more physical meaning than the sutras. Christians are told that when we get to Heaven, we will be presented a crown with jewels, which we will then lay back at Jesus's feet. Also, Christians are meant to follow the will of God and pray that He will make his passions, your passions. This is similar to the last line listed above that talks about how "realization is experienced by making the Lord the motive of all actions."

I think the similarities between Christian tradition and the Yoga philosophy are so interesting. Maybe, if Christians would take time to study the philosophy, they would feel less threatened by the idea of yoga practice. Maybe then, they would be able to practice yoga without feeling the need to recite verses. ;)

a trip home and standing on my head

Last weekend, I went home to San Antonio to see my family. I haven't seen them since summer, so I was excited to show my mom my new yoga abilities. My mom is extremely fit. She works out every day, eats healthy, and values overall health and fitness. This weekend, I decided to take her through some of the yoga stretches that we have been doing. She was extremely impressed by my flexibility and surprised at how difficult some of the poses can be. Downward dog was hard for her because she has tightness in her hamstrings. After that we did a few other poses, I even had her try calf mashing. She tried downward dog again and was impressed that she could do it easier than before. She got adventurous after that and tried headstand and shoulder stand. It was fun to get to teach her some of the poses and to hear her say she was impressed by what I could do. She has always been much more fit than me, so it was cool to be able to teach her something in the fitness department. :)

This Tuesday was a fun class. I like that we are trying things that I probably would never try if I were doing yoga practice on my own. Even though I couldn't get all the way into handstand, I did successfully do the forearm stand (sorry, don't remember the name) several times. I tried to do the forearm stand last night, and was successful, even with my soreness from class. And, I am sore! Is anyone else really feeling it in their upper back and shoulders?

reading response 4

2.10 These patterns when subtle may be removed by developing their contraries.
2.11 Their active afflictions are to be destroyed by meditation.
2.12 The impressions of works have their roots in afflictions and arise as experience in the present and the future births.
2.13 When the root exists, its fruition is birth, life and experience.
2.14 They have pleasure or pain as their fruit, according as their cause be virtue or vice.
2.15 All is misery to the wise because of the pains of change, anxiety, and purificatory acts.
2.16 The grief which has not yet come may be avoided.
2.17 The cause of the avoidable is the superimposition of the external world onto the unseen world.

2:13 to 2:15 talk about why the roots of the five afflictions need to be destroyed by meditation. If a root of these things exists, the afflictions will become active in a person's life. According to 2:15, even the pleasure that comes from these afflictions, and most definitely the pain, is misery to a wise person. The wise person would not want to experience the pleasure or the pain because they would bring "change [and] anxiety."
This is an interesting idea to me. So, the point of doing yoga, calming the mind, pranayama, are all to rid oneself of experiencing any of the pleasure or pain the world has to give you. One must be able focus completely on the process of meditation, calming of the mind. Referring back to the first lines of Pada I, yoga is about stilling the fluctuations of the mind so that they seer can dwell in their own true splendor. I guess someone dwelling in their own true splendor would not be swayed by pleasure or pain offered by this world.

"let your exhalations draw you in"- practice post 4

As we have seen in class, Savasana is one of my specialties. ;) God has definitely given this pose to me, as Dr. Schultz says. I know that we all love doing this pose. The one part of the pose that stumps me every time, is the breathing exercises. Dr. Schultz always talks us through the breathing. She says, "let your exhalations draw your attention in to the inner most parts of yourself" and then ends by saying, "let your inhalations draw your attention back out." These phrases always confuse me. I don't quite understand how to let my exhalations draw me in; or let my inhalations draw me out. I find myself focusing on how to focus inside when I'm breathing out. It makes much more sense to me to follow my inhalations in and my exhalations. Anyone have any advice or thoughts about this?

Practice Post 3

Yesterday was a fun class. After Tuesday, I left feeling sore and a little stiff. The mornings have been rough. I wish I could get in the routine of doing a few poses when I wake up in the morning; still working on that part of practice, though.
Last night, I went with some friends to Outdoor Waco and rented a paddle board. This is like a large surfboard that you stand on in the water and paddle around. I know that OW has a paddle board yoga class, so I thought I would try some poses on the board and see if I could participate in the class. I did downward dog (pretty easy to balance because I was on all fours). Mountain pose was hard because I was standing in the middle of the board. It took a while to balance correctly. After that, I tried tree pose. And, I successfully got my right foot resting on my thigh for about 1 second! And, I didn't fall in the water! I felt very accomplished. After that, simply standing and paddling on the board was much easier as well. That was an exciting moment to see how my class yoga practice can be used in daily life (and even on a paddle board).

Reading Response 3

     Once again, I really enjoyed the reading in How Yoga Works for class this week. In particular, the chapter(s) about seeing things rightly was very interesting. It took me a while to understand what the pen being "itself...in itself" meant, but when Friday used the cow, I finally understood. I have a bit of a strange example to bring in, but it made me think of yoga philosophy in a time I never thought I would.
     Earlier today after finishing my reading, I was watching America's Next Top Model (go ahead and mock me, it's a guilty pleasure). During the end of the show, when each model faces the judges, one girl received bad comments from her fans. The fans said they did not like her personality or her modeling. Obviously, this upset the model and she tried to defend herself and her actions. Tyra Banks, the host of the show, jumped in a said that it doesn't matter what she says because the way people see her is how they will and she can't control that, just attempt to make a better impression. Of course, having just read HYW, I thought of the idea of understanding that we do not see things as they are, and neither do the people around us.
    That might seem like a stretch, but I like anytime that I can relate something I am reading for a class to something in pop culture or the world around me. It adds to my understanding of the topics, even if it doesn't help all of you readers. Thanks for sticking with me during the story, anyway. :)